|What Your Supervisor Says
||What Your Supervisor Means
|Look on this as a learning experience.
||You are going to suffer.
|I am here to lend you support.
||I am here to destroy you so you do not look smarter than me.
|I would like to have had more time to study this.
||I did not read this.
|Your research is an interesting application of my own work.
||Why didn't I think of this before you did?
|You have failed to take into account some of the more relevant
||You did not cite papers I wrote.
|I would like you to explain...
||I do not know anything about this.
|Your statistical results don't seem to support your hypothesis.
||I don't understand statistics.
|How did you ensure that you had drawn a random sample?
||I had to come up with at least one question, and this one always works.
|Could you step out of room while the committee comes to a decision?
||We decided beforehand to give you your degree, but we still want to make
you sweat some more.