Date: Fri, 26 Nov 2004 15:33:59 -0800 (PST)

From: David Sprague <dsprague@cs.ubc.ca>

To: grads@cs.ubc.ca

Subject: Dreaming about beer....

Hey everyone. Sorry about the late call to Koerner's. There was beer to bottle, and physics students to bore before I did this

(as me for details tonight if you want). I am also bit sleep deprived so please excuse me for grammatical errors and more

random rants than usual. Also, speaking of sleep deprivation, the term is quickly coming to a close and many projects are due

and exams are upcoming.....this is the perfect opportunity to relax a bit between your bouts of work. So for those that are

interested, lets meet in the CICSR atrium and walk over to the pub.

As for this week's list, various important events have happened this week. I lost yet another mug last Friday and got it back

today (now if only I could get big red back :( ). I finally bottled the beer I was making and looked completely psycho taking a

bus with over 60 bottles of beer on my person.* There was also the sticker party that I forgot to go to. I also should

probably remind a large number of you that you have plans tomorrow night(Saturday the 26th). However, since I don't know if

various Saturday night plans are public knowledge, I thought I would write about what I know best right now.....my current 4

hours of sleep!!

* But I think this was the first time that it looked like I was able to hold my alcohol. I kept looking at people, looking at

the bottles and saying "all of them, two hours ago". Then giving cute girls my number. I expect the phone to be ringing off

the hook any minute.

TOP TEN WAYS YOU KNOW YOU ARE SLEEP DEPRIVED!!

------------------------------------------------

10. You are half way through your a long answer exam question before

you realize you don't have a pen in your hand.

9. Your friends walk behind you saying "braaaains" to freak out the

undergrads.

8. Kelly Booth tells you "Get some rest. You are working too much."

7. After doing a line of coke your alertness level has been upgraded

to "sleeping"

6. You get on the 99 B-line at Granville. You get off at UBC like

you usually do. You got on the bus at 9:05. You get off the bus 12:37.

5. During your exam you seriously contemplate stabbing yourself in

the eye to stay awake.

4. When you finally get a good night's sleep you can find out what

you did the previous day by following the steady path of drool that you

left on the ground.

3. You get turned around on the way to the bathroom and end up peeing

in the water fountain.

2. The nice folks at the Starbucks get sick of serving you and just give

you a caffeine/water i.v. drip to last you through the day.

1. You spend 20 minutes discovering the joys of using the 'j' key on

your keyboard.

0. That Voronoi diagram stuff from computational geometry is suddenly

starting to make some sense.

-1. Your new title for your SIGGRAPH Paper: "How 3D meshes can melt

and turn into talking birds without any code changes"

-2. Mark Crowley calls you locust for what you did to the coffee club.

-3. You try and stay awake, you roll down the window, beat your fist

on the steering wheel, and crank the knob on your stereo

.....and then realize you are not in a car at all

.....and you have a ratchet in your left hand for some reason

.....and your cat is suddenly very afraid of you

.....and that woman who is screaming at you has a chest that, for some

reason, reminds you of your car radio.

-4. You buy a pitcher of Moosehead.

-5. Twenty students and faculty members were treated for concussions

before people realized not go between you and your coffee. You rename the table

leg you used your "coffee club".

-6. You new nickname: Murchie's Bitch

Snobby Beer Quote of the Week:

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin,

we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"

--Brian O'Rourke

David "I'm just a drool machine" Sprague